What Do You Want? Or What Do I NEED?

This week’s Blog is all about our natural Wants and Needs. I’m confident that your January has been a good start for the new year! You are full of epic momentum with “all hands-on deck ” type of action mode!

I feel this writing will rock your world and give your actions in the world more depth!

Keep on reading, it’s a quick 4 min piece which will add tremendous value for you!

Back in my School days in Finland, I remember we used to have this thing when someone looked at you for too long, we always used to ask; “What Do you want”? It was more of like what do you want from me? Why do you stare at me for so long? 

So often, the very words we speak out to the world are the exact ideas, hot buttons and pain points we ourselves must deal with! So, let’s turn that question inward, shall we. 

What do I want? 

This is still one of the most simple, yet powerful questions we can ask from ourselves! Once we go deeper, we start to realize that there is a difference between Wants & Needs!  

To me, wants are more superficial, more in the Mental, Emotional and Physical realms. Whereas Needs are deeper in the evolutionary level! There is obviously a straight forward connection where those wants we have in life, stem from the true needs! 

Many of us are super familiar with the Abraham Maslow’s pyramid, which describes the basic human needs.

Our functional Needs

I like to play and understand better these 6 elements as functional human needs! First four are the Physical, Emotional and Mental Needs 

1.Certainty 

This is to make sure we have food to eat and the roof does not fall on our head at night. The physical basic needs need to be met! 

2.Uncertainty 

It’s surprising to many, but we also truly need some form of Uncertainty in our life’s.

Hence the reason why we jump out of the airplanes (still with a piece of canvas strapped to our backs) and take the risks in business that somehow are justified to ourselves as being “calculated”.  

What we do, is we tap into our true need for Uncertainty!  

3.Acceptance, Acknowledgement and Appreciation

Yes, it feels good to have that pad on your back when someone says “Good Job”. 

Back in the day, if you were not accepted into your tribe, it pretty much meant you were on your own! Survival in the savanna or jungle was harsh to say the least. 

Today, it is easier find people that fulfill this need. The Starting point for this journey though is that you accept yourself as you are! Yet, I feel Acceptance is also a need we have from the environment we habit.

4.Love & Connection 

Again, start by self-love and connection to yourself! Also, we truly need to feel loved and connected to other humans! 

We are tribal beings! With the connection, I also mean a physical sensation of touch! Go and give more hugs today! 

Needs of the Spirit

5.Growth 

We all need to feel that we are making progress! When you look at nature as an example on this, there everything is continually evolving and growing! Yes, there is a period of decay too, and for the sake of this article we stick with the growth side! 😉 

Make sure you have enough challenges in the present & future that pushes you to grow and be a better human being! 

6.Contribution 

Finally, when it’s all said and done, we are measured by how much we gave, not by how much we accumulated!

Giving and gifting are evolutionary needs!  Come from a place of non-attachment to the outcome for your contribution by not expecting anything in return! Those are the true contributions we can make in this world! 

Watch this great TED Talk about this topic. You can fast forward to 10 min where is the section about the Needs! 

Next time when someone asks you what you want, you can reflect to these needs. Then see & feel where that want truly comes from!

Gain some deeper depth with the idea of Wants & Needs. Question yourself when you find yourself wanting or needing something!

And more importantly, is that question meant for you or for the person asking it? 😉  

“Questions are the Answers”