Our two fundamental needs and how to deal with them
We all need certainty in our lives. Even the most gun-ho travelers that claim to “just go with the flow” are in a need of certainty. Uncertainty on the other hand is often viewed as something that we need to avoid, something to steer far and wide from. In my world though, both are fundamental needs as human beings.
Certainty
We all need to know that there’s food on the table and that the roof on top of us won’t fall on us. We all need certainty in our lives to make sure the basics are met. This is obviously simple to understand and at the same time, if and when life gets too certain, it becomes boring and redundant.
If you have red my previous posts you know that I’m a big fan of habits. As powerful they are, the key piece in the long run is to be able to update and upgrade them so that our routines won’t become too certain and boring.
Money is one of those tools that brings certainty into our lives, to a certain point though!
Too little money and the effects are very obvious. Too much money on the other hand can easily get us out of control bringing a lot of uncertainty as a return gift.
How all this relates to overall happiness, according to science daily article after basic certainty was met, our level of happiness did not increase anymore. It shows that more money = more happiness formula was proven faulty, again.
Uncertainty
It’s more interesting to look at the uncertainty and how it is, surprisingly to many, a necessity and a need in our lives.
It’s the reason why thrill seekers jump out of the airplanes and cliffhangers climb dangerous mountains. Why stock brokers make those scary decisions and why unfaithfulness happens in relationships.
It’s an inherit need hardwired into our consciousness to seek uncertainty. To keep our lives interesting, away from that certainty, to push us to do and create more amazing things in life. Uncertainty effects all of us from ground breaking scientists to single moms raising their children.
Balance?
The trick becomes finding that happy medium for you! Certainty chances, ebbs and flows in different stages of our life. On a yearly and monthly scale and even in different stages of our day to day cycle. We want to start and end our days with certainty, but somewhere in the middle there’s a need for uncertainty and excitement.
More than often this so called happy medium is far away from the 50/50 balance equation. For me currently, this “balance” is somewhere around the 80/20 mark. During my younger years though, it was reversed as 20% of certainty to 80% of uncertainty!
Read my 80/20 blog here.
How to develop certainty
Habits, habits and more habits. When things are too shaky, the ground feels unstable then bring more of those powerful morning and evening habits back into your game.
- Visit familiar faces and go to your local restaurants for comfort foods. Talk to someone who you can trust and is able to listen to you.
- Do & take action on things that are so called safe bets that give you vital small wins!
- Breathe deep and practice mindfulness.
- Stay physically active.
- Journal your thoughts and actions to gain clarity.
How to develop uncertainty
When life gets too boring or you are in a need of something new you can try some of the following to add spice back into your life. Uncertainty can be “manageable”.
- Take fun and calculated risks or Go all in.
- live a day without a To Do list and surrender to flow.
- Push the boundaries of comfort zone to meet new and interesting people.
- Set big goals that are currently out of reach.
- Raise the bar on your current activities at work and/ or private life
One of the best advises comes from a coach named Michael Neil which sums up this idea of certainty vs. uncertainty quite beautifully.
Show up (certainty) and respond to what shows up (uncertainty).
-Michael Neil
